Everyday Invalidations Competition Or Compassion


Well what’s it going to be?  Strong enough to fight and see who is better or be a sissy and slink away? Immature invitations for drama used to draw me in as a moth to  flame to prove worthiness and fit to compete.  Anymore it is a bunch of hot air, anxiety and childhood drama being played out.

There is a small opening here to negotiate with empathy and compassion or de escalate the adversary who is fear burdened.  Enter Chris Voss and Jim Camp.  I have noticed that during competition there is a chance to talk emotional hostages or at least threaten to.  Take for instance the above invite, it is a question and an insult at the same time.  What is the intention of such an act?  To be a victim, rescuer or persecutor?   Tick tock, tick tock, okay time is up.  Yes the answer is all of the above.  The primary energy thrust is that of persecutor with tinges of rescuer ‘you can prove your strength if you fight me’ and the base emotion of this statement is victim ‘I am afraid.’

What does compassion and empathy say let along with TED paradigm as well as Black Swan Methods?  Well it is simple if you let it be, the adversary is emotional excited and escalated due to a perceived threat real or imagined or even unconscious.  That energy is projected outwards, the energy has to go somewhere and you are the closest target.  That being known use the adversaries energy to your advantage (Verbal Judo, aikido or self defense).  Become a creator or a challenger or a coach.  Ask what is my intention at this moment?  Competition or compassion/empathy?  How can I help this person who seems to be in emotional suffering?

Yup easier said than done agreed however use 2 things small wins and slow fixes.  Each encounter you may not feel the best but little by little you will regain emotional balance and sobriety to deal with drama.

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