The more I read The Grief Recovery Handbook the more I realize that 80% of us can’t deal with emotions of any type, we are stuck in our head analyzing. We have become intellects that evaluate most of the world with a measurement of logical probability. I ask what about the affect? The feeling? The emotion? What happens to that energy? Does it just vanish?
Statements of intellect rarely help during time of loss, grief, and/or change. We have effectively severed the heart from the rest of the body as if it does not exist. Where does that leave us? Zombies?
Or intellectual zombies? We have all the right answers for us but no one else.
Better days ahead…etc
Are a few of the lines given to one in grief, loss and change. My idea is not that we become rescuers of those who chose to wallow in the drama of what they live, there is a fine line. We are witness, a responsible witness to the emotion and energy of loss, change and grief. We can help to give it voice authentic voice and energy.
The takeaway is this be aware of your presence or absence in the change. An invalidation is an aspect of absence and/or distance.