Often I have been pulled into a conflict or negotiation due to my ignorance. Ignorance of the situation, the elements in the environment and who is present. After much introspection I have found that most of the time this is a waste of energy, mine! Energy conservation is very important to win a fight or survive. Let’s focus on the last word in the sentence, survive. Live for another day, keep your head above water, keep going, etc. This allows for a regrouping to design and plan a better plan.
My focus here is on what I have come to term the micro conflict and the micro negotiation that takes place at home with family of origin players or in-laws or immediate family and close friends who influence and create impact on your life.
I have a history of neediness or want or attention seeking or codependence to engage in events that are none of my business. I would provide unsolicited advice when it was not asked for and then feel badly when I was rejected, etc ,etc and end up dealing with my own emotional residue and energy bankruptcy. A poor plan to deal with conflict and negotiations that I knew where going to surface. What did you do? Outsmart with awareness! I started to ask myself where am I? Who am I with? How do these people or persons habitually communicate? What is the probability of conflict or verbal abuse with this person?
Some might think the above as being paranoid, maybe. After years of being on the short end of the stick due partially to my ignorance I have a foundation or a stance from which to strategically move from.
The takeaway is to read up on situational awareness and ask yourself the preparatory questions. Practice with this is the basis of confidence to dealing with micro conflict and negotiations.