Again I stumbled across this reading Chantal Burns book Instant Motivation. If we stop and think for a minute and think about our thinking and our emotions there is logic and structure to them.
As I have been and existed in a chaotic states over the years I now what I am talking about. Goleman would call this the emotional hijacking of logical thought. In every conflict or negotiation or anything there is some kind of inherent logic to the counter party’s story or agenda. It has root cause it has an existence and grow pattern of its own. Once you are able to quiet your own chaos and chattering them you are able to see and figure out how to short circuit or at least come to understand their agenda and/or chaos. Simple not easy.
This will lead to negating invalidations and mahy lead to increaed harmony.