A bit more on validating the narrative. On Friday morning I was late for work and I had put on socks with a hole in the toe. My 2.5 yr old Claire noticing that dad had a hole in his sock said, “Wait daddy I fix it for you, I help.” to which I agreed and said okay. She hurried and got in the family first aid kit to get tape and cream to help fix my sock. And I obliged her as carefully tore off the tape and put it over the hole in my sock. She did not know that to do with the hydrocortizone cream she had gotten so I pulled up my pant leg to expose a deep gash I had got the day before from the car door. She squeezed the tube of cream a bit too hard and it gushed out all over her hand and she smeared it on my leg while saying to me,”there Claire helps daddy get better.” And I said yes thank you very much and we both had a big laugh.
When this event started I was late for work and I also know this. There will always be work and more work and work for me in my grave and work if I am reincarnated. Work is infinite precious time with my 2.5 year old is not. Did I validate the narrative and say YES to this repair of my sock? I think so. Did I validate her deep care and compassion for her father? Yes. Did I support how she saw the world and validate how we can work together? Yup.
Okay then what did I not do? I did not say this, No,I Don’t Have Time For This! Buzzkill and invalidation of a child’s precious ideas and feelings. As a parent I can say this because I live in the vulnerability of loss every day, the loss of a child that is.
I witness it at work and at times in public, No I Don’t Have Time For That! How else can that be said or stated if you are running late and need to go and want to love and support an idea from a dear little soul?
Things to think about.