The idea is to get to context as soon as possible, getting to know the others POV. Without this we often miss what they say and why they say it. Invalidations often come from this miscue that is psychological and emotional. An emotional ignorance with a touch of social illiteracy. Make room for the other to be a bull in a china shop and have the stage as long as they want to talk. Remember they can’t talk forever and soon will have to take a breath. Write down stuff they say and always be prepared to mirror, validate and label the emotion. You are hypothesis testing here.