Everyday Invalidations The Most Dangerous Place at Work

I would submit that the most dangerous place at work is a team meeting or a sales meeting.  These are places that seem quiet and social enough.  Everyone sitting around a table and minding their manners and paying basic courtesies to those who are speaking.  “It ain’t necessarily so.”  Even with rules of engagement in place and billions of training dollars spent on “how to run a productive meeting” it never happens they way we think.  Death by 1000 cuts, try death by 1000 meetings.  Why?  Control.  Simple control or lack of.  Everyone wants the talking stick.  Everyone wants to be right.  Everyone needs validation.  I can accept your point of view and/or opinion, I do not have to agree with it.  Craft a meeting around validation and basic respect.

The meetings I have been to have been stealth abuse sessions or verbal brawls ending in some people storming out of the room or great dramas designed my MVP’s who have a narcissistic twist to their work personality.  Any way it gets cut meetings are unsafe places.  Just say no to meetings.  Or go prepared to negotiate, assert yourself or fight.  But a pleasant place where adults go to solve business problems, come on that is impossible.  Most managers are lacking the basic emotional literacy needed to keep a meeting on track when it gets hijacked or taken hostage.

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