Everyday Invalidations Whatever…or Talk to the Hand.

This always seems to get a laugh,
Say “whatever” with an eye roll what an excellent example of contempt and disdain for another person.
I think whatever goes beyond poor social skills and momentary frustration. My working hypothesis  is that it digs down into the bowels of emotion hence that is where a wafer thin tinge of anger and victimization comes from.

I return to the idea that with a “whatever ” statement their is a lack of social emotional regulation.  It is the lazy way out of a communication that does not go the way we planned ,if we planned at all.

Here is a quick takeaway for this.  People who use ” whatever ” statements and talk to the hand gestures often have a predictable streak of control addiction and underdeveloped social emotional skills so it might be easy to design counter measures for this. Here are a few ideas.

1 know that you are under attack
Have an awareness of this
2 validate and mirror
I mean actually say back the word or words ” whatever ” and/or ” talk to the hand ”
3 Ask a question ….such as
How so? Or how am I supposed to do that ?
4 pause and say nothing as your counter party may be recovering from being stunned and bewildered.
5 then listen as they will want to:
Give a logic lecture- explain
Move to extreme intellect- defend
Pontificate on a soap box  ~debate or correct

All 3 have the same motive. Your counter party wanted to hear their own voice and you are the captive audience.

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