When I read and write about this every day and listen for it all the time then my own awareness adjusts to my words and behavior as they related to others. My working hypothesis is that this is about control and getting needs met. There is fear that without control of others then our needs will not get met. I am calm now but not so a few hours ago. I was mildly escalated in a social setting that caused me to choose to emotionally invalidate.
When I quickly scan back over my 40 some odd years of stuff I have said it has been to get my needs met-emotional that is. And please note to get them met using external means (read control). What if by writing this blog and studying the books I study I changed how I spoke and how I acted in social settings? What if I questioned why I say what I say and slowed everything down ?