Subdued Compassion

Today I am too tired to fight or worry or have any concerns other than eating and sleeping.  It is not that I am disregarding everyone else but I am not engaging in any battle of the wills.  I was up late very late completing a writing project for a deadline last night.  I got finished at 2:45am and sauntered off to bed.  My sleep was haphazard as I drifted in and out of comatose states.  I am learning about compassion what it means and how it feels to receive and give it.  My eyes well up with tears when we go the Sick Kids Hospital for Claire’s hip check ups not because my daughter is dying or in severe pain, rather the pain I witness as we walk down the halls, the dear little souls as Shirley Smith would say.  

Where does this strong emotion come from you say.  I have no clue right now.  May be I am changing for the better.  I am learning and taking note of my habits decisions and behavior.  There is so much to learn with the Jim Camp negotiation system.  On every negotiation there is something to learn that adds to my wisdom, even if I fail at the negotiation.   It is not meant to be an over night deal that is learned in a day.  That is where I am learning compassion for myself first.  I can’t give away what I don’t have.


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