The Bank of Smith Part 1

I think that if most people search enough they will find they to have a Bank of Smith.  Those individuals who grew up and matured during the early and mid part of the 20th century can be considered Banks of Smith.  These men, women and childern endured some of the harshest conditions duirng the 1930’s and 1940’s.  Frugality, cash flow common sense and resource management were the foundations of survival.  How quickly and foolishly we forget.  How immediately we are to move on the the next treat of thw week, especially me.  Put money away for a rainy day and don’t touch it.  Don’t use credit cards and pay cash all of the time.  Hmmm, did I ever follow any of the advice to the letter since entering the work force in 1983?  A used bits and pieces here and there as they fit my fancy.  All I can say is this…if I would have followed that advice years ago I would be very comfortable at this point financially speaking.  The reason I am writing this at home onthe kitchen table at my home and not at work is because I put money away for a rainy day 1 year ago, not knowing when or where the storm would come from.  Do I owe debt?  Yes a bit.  Do I have IOU’s? Yes, just one. I am far from financially perfect.  This short essay is actually a confession in the 42nd year of life.  I am not turning over a new leaf, buying a mutual fund, buying and ETF, payin down debt or going to buy a house.  Quite the contrary.
The Bank of Smith was built on self care and self love.  I will continue to love and care for myself every day.  I will make slight ever so slight adjustments in my money awareness and gratitiude consciuousness.  What???  Yes.  Slight adjustments in gratitude and money awareness.WTF?  In the past when I have impulsively pillaged and used money irresponsibly it has turned on me somewhere down the road.  That is because I was not faithful, thankful and accepting that whatever amount showed up, showed up just for me at that time.  Not enough??? Resentful?  Fearing scarcity?Money will act the same back to you.  Plug the leas of ostentation first.  What?  Plug the leaks of ostentation first?  Or as my grandfather used to say “Stop blowing your hard earned money on god-damn non sense and bull shit!”  He had a point.  Why buy a new car when a used one will do?  Hmmm.This is not a matter of self denial but of execution of business due dilligence in my everyday money affairs. “Let the other jokers burn their cash acting like fools, you concern yourself with keeping what is yours!”  Hmmm.  A good point.  He was seeking balance at this point in how I allocated my resources.  Save and invest, save and invest.  “If you do not have the cash at hand to pay for someting then don’t buy it until you do!”  Wow!  Hmmm, fuck, this one would have saved me literally thousands by now. Impulse, impulse and more impulse for attention.  I used money for attention.
The Good Guy always dies the hardest first.  Why?  Because he is the patsy for everyone else.  He is cash strapped codependent one who rescues others for validation.  He is the one who goes over board with gifts due to guilt and codependent shame.  It is just that there are never enough gifts to give that can take away the nagging feeling of not being good enough for anything or anyone.  Whoa!  WTF?  Why so edgy?  Because it is the truth.  What if we loved and gave to ourselves first during the crazy season?  What if we did not over extend ourselves, go broke or go deeper into the debt matrix?  What if we got healthy first and then invited other to join us?  What would that look like?  Very different indeed.
I have been told my the Bank of Smith that my saving grace at 42 is that you are not married, do not have a mortgage, have no kids and and you are not in a codependent cash relationship.  There is a bright light at the end of the tunnel to start again and do so in light of what wise advice the Bank of Smith has given me.  “Know the numbers and run the numbers.” he would say.  Yes and there is a balance to all of this.  Know the numbers in regard to what I want to create, desgin and build.  WTF?  Yes I said it.  Know the numbers in regard to what I want to create, desgin and build.  WTF?  If I am going to rent a bachelor apartment I need to run all of the costs and account for miscellaneous events to be cash flow successful.  All of my life I ignored the numbers hoping and praying that it would ll turn out in my favor.  That is when I was not in love.  That was when I did not accept or care.  That led to many dire consequences with money and relationships.
The Bank of Smith has been there to guide since Sept.17 1968.  I started to listen 41 years too late but I am now listening.  Riches are needed to hold one’s own outside of the matrix of debt.
Stay tuned for part two.
Shawn Draisey

Job Agent

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