Soft skills? Oh you mean how to listen and talk. Yeah, I learned that somewhere along the way with how to be assertive-aggressive if I don’t get my way or if circumstances don’t turn out in my favor. I learned it from my family of origin, early public school teachers and extended family. It was mostly survival skills and protection from subtle social rejection. Now 80% of the survival game is soft skills or socio-emotional learning? WTF? Read a book on how to act? WTF? Yeah, just like familiy and your supervisors and the managers who rule with shame, guilt and fear. Hmmm, all for a better tommorrow. What a sham, as Robert DeNiro would say. Not the concept itself but the big business bullshit of now being emotionally competent to lead and manage others when you don’t have your shit together.
Misfits, retards, fuck ups and all around thugs and bullies are what I have personally experienced in this brief walk through the world. I can count on one hand the number of teachers, managers and so-called leaders who were cool people, they could take care of their baggage and be there for others in a gentle and loving way. In the end they were fired or replaced with technical business managers. The good always die first! That is the way of nature! It is hard to find good people, so goes the fucked up victimized saying. Hmmm I am not sure if I concur with that. There are good people all around just none that want to buy into your matrix of control and business fear model. Those who have a grounding in basic human functioning may get displaced by the matrix but always find a way to stay afloat and land on their feet. Hmmm might that be emotional intelligence;how many times one is emotionally leveled yet has the quiet fortitude to move forward and get back on the path of life? Emotional Intelligence or as my business partner and I call it “How to pack and unpack your Emotional Baggage”, because we all carry it.
The resistance to implementation of EI/ EQ stems from responsibility and acceptance. I-We don’t want to be responsible for my- our emotions or accept them, that way we have a full license to sustainably fuck up and blame others or the world at large. Hmm I think I did that mostly when I was between the ages or 3 and 15 years of age. Shawn I read the book and took the class and bought the hat and T-shirt but this emotional responsibility stuff just isn’t me! Thanks though it was interesting to read and listen to. Almost all of the senior management and/or leaders I have served or worked for have been socially and emotionally inept or fuck ups. What gives them away are off timed jokes, nervous snickers in crowds and the general feel of anxiety/uneasiness when in public and complete inability to hold an endearing conversation! These are symptoms of fear. Fear? WTF? Yes fear or being out of control and rejected! Most of them be they female or male are emotionally fragile, they can’t take no for an answer. They can’t take in any ideas or concepts other than their own, they are not emotionally or cognitively flexible. In short they are fucked!
Why so edgy? I am far from edgy. After the tours of duty I have served and especially my last 60 days in GTA with a so-called Fortune 500 firm and top tier management team I can tell you that what I have written is not edgy. It is the honest to god truth from my vantage point in the trenches. Why the sham? Why the non sense? Why the big performance? Why the flack jackets, bullet proof vests and emotional denial, the dramas for emotional attention, why the emotional push backs if someone gets too close? Vulnerability! Perceived weakness. It is all protection of the small wanting child within who has been emotionally starved for some time. It becomes big game of love, acceptance and compassion. There you go it is out in the open! Edgy? Quit it! Is love, acceptance and compassion edgy? Hardly.. only for those who remain emotionally hard and are off balanced by hanging on to denial, resistance and self delusion.
My declaration is not one to bring down systemic politics or the given social order… just a have a heart in all matters, that is all. Even when I am being berated, neglected, abused or denied the perpetrators are in severe pain and confusion trying to get love and compassion needs met that have been unmet for a long long time. Take a minute and step back in humor and comedy and listen to what is being said by the body, tone and words and then laugh. How do you think I survived 60 days in Toronto with 10 mood disorder patients who thought they were company and department leaders?
Be gentle and at the same time don’t be a doormat for anyone.
It is all fun and games until someone looses and eye during rough sex.